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Top 5 Blasphemous Segments from The Colbert Report

April 2, 2012

Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report calls himself “basically the Pope of Basic Cable.”  Amen.  Religion provides many of the show’s most hilarious moments.  Here’s five favorite segments of the show at its blasphemous best.

5. Clasp Your Hands Say Yahweh

Enraged by President Obama’s suggestion that Americans observe the National Day of Prayer privately, Colbert goes big on God with giant foam prayer hands, rah-rah dancing girls and a special plea that the Lord create “Dorito pudding.”  (video link)

4. Battle of the Gods

After a pastor suggests God’s rep among deities is on the line if McCain loses the 2008 election, Colbert draws up a tournament bracket of world religions and a Final Four cage match between God, Allah, Buddha and “Hindu” (!)  Let’s Get Out There and Smite Some Butt!! (video link)

3. Clergy-Matic Ecclise-Action Center 3:16

Colbert tackles the endless sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church with a one-step preventative training system:  “Don’t Molest Anyone.”  But a priest in the audience still wants clarification.  (video link)

2. Catholic Throwdown

Colbert goes head-to-head with Rocker Jack White for an uncensored Catholic trivia challenge.   They’re both pretty good!  And hilariously profane. Nuns, NSFW. (video link)

1. Losing His Religion

Colbert defends “peace loving hate lovers” with a suggestion that dark-skinned Americans stop seeming so Muslim.  Like Obama, who might actually be Jesus, according to this hilarious rant.  After all, they both share questionable birth stories. (video link)

Enjoy a little blasphemy?  This month Ovation is airing Holy Flying Circus, the story of the outraged, and sometimes violent, response to Monty Python’s The Life of Brian. Holy Flying Circus premieres on Saturday April 7th at 10pm.

Brett Barth is a freelance writer living in the constant state of Venice, CA.

Image: The Colbert Report